How to Calm
Toddler Tantrums

without yelling, bribing or giving in

Are toddler tantrums making you miserable as a parent?

When my child was going through the terrible-twos, her temper tantrums could easily last for hours.

My toddler would cry over small things all day, every day.

Then it kept escalating until I started screaming right along her.

When I yelled, I felt like a bad mom.

I didn’t know what to do.

I felt so helpless.

I read parenting books. I tried everything the experts told me to do.

Still, nothing worked.

I couldn’t take her anywhere because she threw epic tantrums whenever she didn’t get her way…

It drove me crazy. I was at my wits end.

It was exhausting and defeating.

The REAL reason these parenting methods don’t work …

I received a lot of advice from friends and family.

They told me to ignore and punish my kid.

But from studying engineering at Stanford University, I know that a runaway car cannot stop on its own without a brake.

You wouldn’t ignore a runaway car and hope it would stop itself… or punish the driver for not using the nonexistent brake, right?

But that’s exactly what ignoring or punishing would do.

Babies are not born with a complete emotional brake.

Ignoring or punishing would not create a proper braking circuit.

So I came up with a solution based on scientific research and it worked.

I was finally able to stop the emotional runaway before it went rolling down the hill.

The reason why most parenting methods don’t work is because they work on the child’s behavior on the outside, but neglect what’s causing it on the inside.

It’s like stopping a runaway car from the outside… by putting up a brick wall for it to crash into.

A much better way is to disengage the engine and build a working brake from the inside.

When my child threw a tantrum, I helped her calm down and develop her emotional brake.

My toddler went from having multiple tantrums every day to calming herself even when things didn't go her way

My daughter has learned to soothe and regulate herself.

We’re now both calmer and happier, and love spending time together.

We are closer than ever before.

In preschool, the teachers kept commenting how well behaved and delightful she was, and that she never had a tantrum there.

When she was in kindergarten, I even got a text from her teacher complimenting her emotional regulation ability.

If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums, I was exactly where you are.

I loved my child, but hated her tantrums.

I wanted to spend quality time with her, but the constant meltdowns made it so hard and so draining.

Her endless tantrums made me feel that there must be something wrong with my parenting, or something off with her.

If you’re feeling ANY of these, you’re not alone.

There is nothing wrong with you, or your child!

All you need is the right information so you can help your kid develop their emotional brake properly.

My boy can now tell me how he feels instead of throwing fits and screaming.


Calm The Tantrums

A Step-by-Step Guide to Calming Toddler Tantrums

The best way to calm toddler tantrums so you can stop the chaos which means you can confidently get through the terrible-twos


Top 3 ways to prevent tantrums so you can cut down on meltdowns and enjoy more peace at home


How to teach your child emotion regulation skills so they can learn to calm themselves which means shorter and fewer tantrums

Secrets to Staying Calm

How you can stay calm during tantrums so you don’t explode which means you will be a good role model for your child

Venn Diagram of autonomy, mastery, relationship and remove toxic stress

What People Are Saying

I love this book! I love the science based explanations and the strategies really work. I'm so happy I've stumbled upon this book.

... full of insightful advice. I was so discouraged and thougth I was a bad Mom. This book has changed my approach in parenting forever. Highly recommend to all parents.



I’m a mom, wife, bestselling author and the Editor-in-Chief of Parenting for Brain. I help parents restore happiness at home and kids reach their full potential using brain-science-based strategies.

This book is the result after poring over hundreds, if not thousands, of scientific studies when I was dealing with my daughter’s terrible twos tantrums. It is a follow-on to my first bestseller, Turning Tantrums Into Triumphs.

Join the thousands of parents who have used this strategy successfully and discover how science can help you create a happy home.

Yours sincerely,
Pamela Li
MS, Stanford University
MBA, Harvard University

As Seen On

What Experts Are Saying

Li offers a fresh new perspective on tantrums and gives parents the tools to turn terrible-twos into valuable opportunities for a child to grow into a mature and resilient person. I highly recommend it.

PhD, Psychologist

This is a must-read book for parents of young children, or anyone likely to spend time around young children. Ms Li does an excellent job of summarizing, in clear and accessible language, the extensive literature on the neurobiology and psychology of human emotional development. She gives many practical tips on effective ways to manage these commonly challenging situations.

LMFT, LPCC, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor


Tantrum Survival Kit

Handle Toddler Tantrums Like A Pro

This kit will help you:

Ask simple-choice questions to distract your child

Avoid making mistakes when dealing with a meltdown

Remember exactly what to do during a tantrum

Teach your child breathing and mindfulness techniques to strengthen emotional regulation



Enjoy spending every minute together with your toddler

Calm The Tantrums ebook

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Tantrum Survival Kit

Retail: $11.99




My tantrum calming strategy is battle-tested and science-backed to be the best for toddler development.

But if this isn’t exactly what you need, go through the materials, really put some effort into it. If within 30 days, you don’t feel it is worth what you paid, just send me an email for a prompt refund.

What People Are Saying

Frequently Asked Questions

This ebook is for parents or caregivers of preschoolers or elementary school-aged children.

Absolutely. Although every child is different, the process of brain development is similar for everyone. My strategy focuses on helping children develop the regulating circuit in their brains so they can control and manage those big emotions.

We offer a 30-day refund guarantee. Simply send us an email at for a refund.

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